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otherone12 · 1 month ago

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Let's Be Alone Together

(FOB reference, 'cause couldn't think of anythig else)

Frank Iero x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! I took really long to finisn this one, 'cause i needed to do the most complex a could… i was going to write it ‘bout Gerard, but I always write about him (yep, i'm kinda obsessed). Wel, I changed to Frank ‘cause I thought it would be nice. I know you don't read the fics I write about other members (who aren't Gerard) that much, but still... Hope u like it <3

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! )

Summary: Your dad is one of the members of MCR staff, so you went to the reunion tour with them. You alwas has a crush on Frank, but you didn't expected that he would fall for you.

- Word Count: 4.850

- Warnings: Big age gap (legal but big), afab SMUT (a little scene, not big deal).

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

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1s Person POV

I've always been a big fan of My Chemical Romance, but unfortunately my father never took me to see them live, so this Reunion Tour will be my first time not only seeing them, but meeting the members of my favorite band.

Obviously, the moment my dad phoned me to ask if I'd like to accompany him, I was extremely excited and could hardly hold back, but I also couldn't help being nervous, considering my absurd crush on Frank.

What if I said something wrong? Something embarrassing? What if I fainted in front of him? What if I blushed too much, making it obvious that he had always been a weak point during my teenage years?

Putting my anxious thoughts aside, I went to pack my bags, as I don't like to leave things to the last minute, especially when it comes to something so important.

*** time skip ***

Finally, the day I'd been waiting for arrived. My father came to my apartment to pick me up and we went to the place where we boarded the production bus.

- Are you ready? - He asked me, while I put my things in the trunk.

- Fucking ready! - I said, and my dad chuckled, knowing that it was a MCR reference.

We got in the car and he drove us for the not too long way through the bus.

- Well, there are some things you have to know before we arrive.

- I’m all ears.

- First of all, they’re really nice, but don’t be annoying, ‘cause they’re working.

At no point did he take his eyes off the road, but I'm sure he knew exactly what my facial expression was, and he let out a chuckle.

- I’m not annoying at all! - I protested, more in a joking tone than in protest in fact.

- I know, but fans can be a bit, so I have to warn you. - a chuckle escaped from his mouth - Another thing is that I want you to help me tidy up the equipment.

- Sure! But you’ll have to teach me how to do it. - I warned.

- Don't worry, I will!

It wasn't long before we arrived at the tour bus location. Anxiety took over me, after all I was about to meet the guys who saved my life, as well as the guy who was my teenage crush. I spent so much time waiting to meet them that it doesn't even seem real.

Soon, the four of them got off their bus, which was next to the one we were loading.

- Hey, guys! I want you to meet my kid. - my dad said, pushing me forward.

I couldn't help but let out an awkward smile. Of course I was embarrassed of my dad doing this kind of thing, but I was definitely more excited.

- Hi! - Mikey said, shaking my hand with a smile - I heard you’re a huge fan of My Chem.

- Yeah! You guys are my favorite band ever.

- Nice to finally meet you! - Gerard says, with a cute smile on his face and approaching to give me a hug .- Your dad talks a lot about you.

I panicked. Did dad mention Frank? I've never been discreet about my feelings for him. But I think he couldn't... Could he?

- Only good things, i hope - i chuckled

- Of course, and in the kindest way possible - Ray laughed a bit, giving me a hug, and, damn his arms are really strong.

Getting out of Ray’s arms, I saw Frank getting close to me and I started to shake, remembering all the edits I had of him on my phone when I was a teenager, it was only a couple years ago, so probably if I look I'll find some.

- I think it’s my turn to say ‘hi’ - He chuckled and hugged me. - How are you?

- I-i'm fine.

When his eyes met mine, I blushed, and quickly looked away, hoping it wouldn't be obvious.

Well, after the moment that was awkward for me, but normal for the others (I hope) my dad and I put our things on the bus, and he started to show me where I could find the equipment stuff.

After stowing my things and getting a quick rundown of the equipment area from my dad, I wander back toward the front of the bus. The band had already dispersed, Gerard and Mikey were outside chatting, Ray was setting up something technical near the sound system, and Frank… Well, Frank had disappeared somewhere.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, I decided to step outside for a breath of fresh air. As I rounded the corner of the bus, I spotted Frank, sitting on the back steps with a cigarette between his fingers, his face relaxed as he watched the sun dip below the horizon.

He notices me immediately.

- Hey! - He said, and I turned my attention to him, making my way towards Frank - You okay?

I soon stopped next to him, and he shifted on the step, giving me room to sit next to him, and I did so, a little shyly and awkwardly, after all it was THE Frank Iero.

- Yeah, - I let out a sigh, tired. It was just the first day - I just needed some air. It's... a lot.

- Yeah, I get it. - when he spoke, cigarette smoke came out of his mouth, a mix of the woodsy notes of his cologne and cigarette smoke hit me, and it’s impossible not to feel a little dizzy - First time meeting your favorite band and all.

- Your dad’s been hyping you up a lot. - He smiled, taking a drag and putting on a subject - He’s proud of you, y'know?

Frank laughs softly, the sound light and warm, and it makes my stomach flip.

- Yeah… - Knowing my father as I do, I already knew that there was a good chance that he had said too much, so I put my hands to my face, thinking about the possibilities. - He’s been telling embarrassing stories, hasn’t he?

- He might’ve mentioned a few. But nothing too bad.- He chuckled, but the next sentence he mocked a bit, and glanced sideways at me - Except maybe the part where you had a bit of a crush on someone in the band.

I felt my nervousness increasing, my face getting hot, soI buried my face even deeper in my hands.

- Oh my god, please tell me you’re joking

- Relax, he didn’t name names. But… - He shrugs playfully - I have a feeling I know who it was…

I looked in his direction, my eyes wide, and in a matter of seconds I realized that my reaction was very obvious. Frank noticed my state, so he laid his tattooed hand on my shoulder.

- But, hey, don’t worry this is totally normal. - My heart raced with the quick eye contact we made, but he continued trying to comfort me - I had a huge thing for Debbie Harry back in the day.

I laughed, and the conversation kept going, passing through a lot of different light subjects, and word by word I calmed down. Tour stories, the weird snacks people leave backstage, music... The longer I sit there, the more I realize that despite the years I spent idolizing him, Frank feels... real. Just a guy who likes good music, bad jokes, and late-night conversations.

The time didn’t seem to pass, but Frank got up and groaned.

- Well, I should probably get some sleep. We’ve got a long day tomorrow. - He smiled at me, scratching the back of his neck - It was cool hanging out with you. Maybe we can do this again sometime?

- Yeah, I’d like that - I smiled back, and he got on the bus.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened that night for days, but things went far when Frank started to ask me little favors. Help him with ideas for setlists, with the excuse that I was “a fan that they need to choose the right songs”. After all, we spent about two hours together, laughing and chatting.

I started to notice that maybe these favors were some kind of excuses, ‘cause there were no reason for me to help him to find his hoodie, go with him everywhere just because “he don’t want to go alone”, help him to choose his clothes, or just being with him to listen him practiced.

It’s not like I wasn't enjoying it, but it turned worryingly suspicious. I really wanted to keep spending time with him, even though I knew it wouldn't lead to anything, and that it would only be during the tour, but even so, they were the moments I'd dreamed of for years.

But the thought of someone actually noticing gives me creeps.

Everything was going fine, but one morning after a show, I was standing outside the bus when Frank pops his head out and spots me.

- Hey, we’re grabbing breakfast. You wanna come with?

- Wouldn't I be a bother?

- Nah, it 's cool. We’ll grab you a seat. C’mon

At first, I hesitated, but his warm smile was impossible to resist. Not thinking too much, I followed him toward the diner with butterflies in my stomach. Inside, the guys settle into a booth, squishing together on one side while leaving space for Frank and I on the other.

- So, Frank - Ray breaks the silence after the coffee arrives, with a grin on his face - didn’t know you were handing out VIP passes these days.

- Exclusive breakfast invites. - Mikey chuckled - Very on-brand.

- We’ve been in the band for years! - Gerard said, playfully, pretending to be offended - Where’s my personal breakfast date?

- Shut up, guys. - Frank rolled his eyes - I’m just being nice

- ”Nice.” Right. - Ray teased, and I held myself back to not blush, glancing sideways to Frank - That’s what we’re calling it now?

- Does the ‘VIP package’ come with a t-shirt too? - Gerard smirks, taking a sip of his coffee.

Frank groaned, his knee brushing against mine under the table. I can tell he was embarrassed by their teasing but trying not to make it worse. I shifted uncomfortably, hoping the attention doesn’t give anything away.

- You guys are idiots.

Even though the teasing eventually subsides, I couldn't help but notice how Frank keeps glancing my way, as if checking to make sure I'm okay. It looks like we were sharing some secret I haven't fully acknowledged yet.

They started talking about the concert tonight, talking about what clothes they were going to wear or something, but I think I was too distracted looking at Frank out of the corner of my eye to pay attention.

The rest of the day passed normally, with the boys rehearsing and getting ready, while I helped set up the equipment, along with the rest of the staff.

When the show started, I didn't take my eyes off the stage for a single second. It's not as if I've never seen this show before, after all, it was the 3rd show of the tour, but every time there's something different. Each of the shows so far I've been looking at everyone's performance, but this one in particular I was hypnotized by Frank's performance, who always makes a point of being extremely hot.

Before I knew it, the show was over and they were leaving the stage. Frank threw the pick into the audience and ran to the opposite side from where the others had gone. The side where I was.

With his guitar slung over his body, he came even closer to me, but it was so fast that I couldn't react. His hands reached for my face and his lips collided with mine, and I didn't move away. His sweaty face brushed against mine as his tongue danced with mine. At that brief moment it was just the two of us.

He pulled out, quick, and with an awkward smile.

- Damn. Sorry… - Frank finally realized what happened, and shook his head in confusion - I... I don’t know what came over me.

- It’s okay… - i gave him a small smile, catching my breath.

After that, everything became a blur in my memory. The only thing I thought about in the last few hours before I fell asleep was how much I wanted that kiss, how much I felt that he wanted it too. The way Frank's eyes shone when he stared at me for a few seconds before apologizing.

This tension that builded between us just grows and it becomes impossible to handle, so we start sneaking around. Brief kisses when no one was around, mid-night walks, deep conversations, cuddles in the bus when it was empty… every time he touches me, I feel the way no one has ever made me feel.

Another show was about to begin and I was walking through the corridors near the dressing room when I felt a tug on my arm, just after I heard the sound of the door opening. Once inside the dressing room, my back hit the door, slamming it shut. Still in a bit of a daze, I looked up to meet Frank's beautiful hazel eyes.

Without much time to understand the whole situation, I heard the door lock click shut, and just as quickly, he kissed my lips, with his hands going up to my waist.

- Are you insane?! - mumbled, whispering in his lips, between kisses . - Show’s gonna start in less than ten minutes!

- So better we do it fast, huh. - His mouth traveled in my neck, sucking it perfectly.

His hands grip my hips like he can’t bear to let go, thumbs brushing under the hem of my shirt, I shivered.

- We don’t have time for this… - I moaned, laughing, with my hands on his chest, pushing him away.

- Exactly. - He whispered, with his lips on my collarbone - No time to waste.

Before I could say anything, he pulled up my shirt, taking it off. My back pressed even hard against the door, as his hand went back to my waist. I grab the front of his jacket, pulling him closer until his body molds against mine perfectly. His lips find mine again, the kiss turning deeper, hotter, all tongue and teeth, like neither of us could get enough.

His hands slide down, fingers hooking into the waistband of my jeans.

- We can be quick - He said. His voice was soft and low. making me bite my lips.

Frank unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. He slipped a hand between my thighs, looking up at me and liking his lips.

- Frank, - I panted, feeling his fingers rubbing me through my panties. - we’re gonna get caught.

I let out a moan, and a smile grew in his face.

- Then we’ll have to make it worth the risk, won’t we? - Frank teased, catching my lips again and muffled the noises coming out of my mouth.

Not taking too long, his shirt came off, as well his jeans, showing his tattooed body. He turned me and pushed my body to the couch in the corner of the dressing room. His body on mine, and his mouth in my neck, just felt right. Frank undid my bra, moving his hands to my breasts. Again I whimpered, a bit much louder this time.

- Shh, baby - He warned, teasing - Don’t want the others hearing, do you?

I shook my head, but his tone wasn’t helping at all. With no more clothes between us, he thrusted inside of me. Wasn’t the first time we did this, but it always felt like it was. Every move he made caused a turn in my stomach. Among whimpers, messy touches and praises, we were finally reaching our climaxes.

- Frank… I- I was a hot mess, with my fingers tangled in his hair. - I'm so close...

- I told you we could be quick… - He grounded - do it, angel…

Pleasures washed over my body as I felt him reaching his own pleasure.

Just in time, we dressed up, and kissed passionately one more time before he go to the stage, and performed awesome as always.

These things became more and more frequent and I no longer knew if we were “just friends”, if we were just “hooking up” or if we were really dating. Well, another day was going normally and, as usual, I started tidying up some stuff, when Mikey showed up, a little bored and bringing up a random subject. Before long, we were laughing at some pointless joke. Some a few minutes passed, and Mikey looked at his phone, noticing a message on it.

- Hum… - Mikey sighed, reading the text on his phone - Well, gotta go… we definitely need to talk more often, by the way.

- Well, I'm always here - I gave him a gentle smile. as he walked by - Bye, Mikey.

He waved at me and Frank appeared. I was surprised when I looked at his face, even though he tried to hide it, was clearly disconcerted.

- Such a funny guy, right? - He wasn’t angry, but I never heard him talking like that.

- What? - I was confused… Was he… jealous? - Mikey? What’s the problem?

- I don’t know! It just…- He stops, exhaling sharply, his hands running through his hair - It drives me nuts seeing you with someone else, okay?

I raised my eyebrow, trying to understand what he was trying to say... so I followed my first hunch, this time asking, softly and a little shyly.

- Frank… Are you jealous?

- Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know - he rubbed his hands over his face, nervous.

He approached me, holding my waist, still a little exasperated, he sighed, thinking about how to speak.

- I just... I think I love you. And it scares the hell out of me.

- I love you too… - I moved my face close to his, placing a soft kiss on his lips - and it’s okay being scared... I’m here, if you need… hm.

After that, our meetings became more and more frequent, the perfect balance between the physical, the kisses, hugs, touches... and the sentimental, long conversations, personal stories, and even comfortable moments of silence, when just the company of each other was enough.

Unfortunately, the more shows that went on, the closer it got to the moment when we would have to put an end to it, and it was obvious that neither he nor I wanted that. Even though I tried not to think about it too much, it kept haunting me whenever I wasn't near him, thinking about what it would be like to have to go on with my life pretending that none of this had happened.

Again, I was walking past the corridor hotel when Ray asked me to call Frank to go out with them. Without hesitation, I made my way to his room. I knocked on the door, not waiting for an answer.

- Hey... The guys said they're going out to drink or something - I said stepping into his room - they asked me to call you to go with them.

Frank was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, clearly dazed by something.

- I'm really not in the mood today... - He mumbled.

I walked up to him calmly, and placed my hand on his shoulder, caressing him.

- looks like there's something bothering you... - My tone was gentle, with genuine intention of seeing him well.

He took his hands off his face, now looking in my direction. I gave him a weak smile, trying to comfort him. His hair fell perfectly in his face, taking my attention away from the conversation and making me admire how beautiful he is.

- I'm just... - He sighed and paused for a moment, searching for an answer. - with a lot going on in my head.

My hand rose to his face, caressing his cheek. He maintained eye contact and I was mesmerized by his hazel eyes.

- Want to talk about it? -I asked, my thumb making circles in his warm skin. - 'cause i'm here if you want to-

- I can't stop thinking about you - He grunted, turning his face away from my hand. Not because he didn't want me to touch him, but because somehow it was a tease for him.

That being the case, I took this confession as a green light. So, feigning innocence, I sat on his lap. He didn't stop me, in fact, he put his arm around my waist.

- And is this a bad thing, hm? - my hands passed behind his neck, while I brought my lips closer to his - Am I a annoying thought?

With our noses touching, I felt Frank's hand come up under my shirt, still with a firm grip.

- It's actually the best thing I could think about - His voice was deep and almost a whisper, making my skin crawl.

- So what's wrong? - Before he could respond, I pressed my lips against his. Exactly the same feeling and taste as last time. It wasn't long before he broke the kiss, leaving me feeling empty.

- Everything - His eyes expressed sadness and hurt as he spoke. - Our time is getting over… This is not right…

Of course it wasn't right, but I wasn't going to give up, knowing that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Without any shame, I brought my lips closer to his jawline, and pressed kisses as I spoke.

- But you know as well as I do that even if it's not right, it feels so fucking good. - When I spoke, he closed his eyes, letting out a whimper.

- Don't do this to me... - Frank sighed, still running his hands over my body.

Little by little, he lay down on the bed and pulled me with him. It wasn't long before he kissed me passionately, making me melt in his arms. His tongue passed over my lips, finding mine, as I positioned myself on top of him.

It was all too good to be true, until he ruined the moment by reminding me of his moral dilemma.

- 'C'mon… You know this can’t last - he grunted, upset about what I was about to say - you have to find guys your age.

Without getting off him, just settling myself more comfortably, I hugged him, resting my head on his chest.

- I don't want guys my age! - I whined, hugging him even tighter- they are immature, boring... and not even close to being as pretty as you.

- You’re ridiculous - He let out a chuckle, knowing I wasn't lying.

Frank stroked my hair, getting carried away and momentarily forgetting the point of the conversation.

- I’m serious! I want you, Frank... - I said looking in his eyes - always wanted, and I can see in your eyes that you want me too.

- You're right - Again, Frank sighed, with a sad smile on his face - But we can’t do this, angel.

- We don't have to be public... - I tried, slipping my hand under his shirt and caressing his chest - Just gimme a chance to be yours.

Leaving all malice aside, I gave him my best doe eye. It wasn't like I needed to seduce him, but to convince him that he should be with me, regardless of the rest of the world.

- You're already mine, baby... - His confusion was obvious, while he felt the need to continue our relationship and make it something serious, he knew that everything could go wrong. - But this... it’s going to get complicated.

Little by little, I got up, got off Frank and sat down next to him. He did the same thing, and then I looked at him seriously.

- That's really a big deal? - It wasn't like I was arguing, but a serious question, waiting for his answer.

Frank took a deep breath, focusing on giving me the best answer he could find.

- You're too young, and I have a career. - I opened my mouth to complain, but he was right, even if it hurt me to say - It wouldn’t just ruin me.. it’d ruin the band too.

Thinking, I couldn't find any logical thing to say, so I had to appeal to feelings.

- It’s not even illegal! and… we can keep it a secret! - I started to beg, letting my feelings control my mouth - Please, don’t push me away... I love you, Frank, I really do.

It was not something I planned, but my desperation to continue with him spoke louder than any pride could hold back.

He moved close to me, holding my chin with his fingertips, making me look at him. Frank smiled, admiring every detail of my face.

- you're so pretty, y'know? - He pressed his lips on mine, but too fast for me to kiss him back. With a sweet tone, he concluded - I love you too, angel.

His hand passed over the back of my neck and I was practically on his lap again. My arms wrapped around his neck and the feeling of his lips on mine simply made me think that there was no other man for me. Frank turned my body and laid me against the bed, leaving him on top of me, with our lips still glued.

- You're so perfect - He stammered, catching his breath with his forehead pressed against mine. - Shame you’re so damn manipulative, though.

He continued kissing my face, moving down to my chest, and his hands held the hem of my shirt, slowly lifting it.

- Not my fault you’re crazy about me - I giggled seeing him blush a little.

I lifted myself up enough so he could take my shirt off completely and throw it on the floor.

- Lucky for you - Frank looked at me in the eyes, while his hands went to my jeans, unbuttoning and opening the zipper, easily and quickly, in the blink of an eye my pants were on the floor too - I am indeed

He pulled away enough to pull off his shirt, revealing his tattooed body. I sighed, unable to take my eyes off him. I bit my lip impatiently as he pulled off his pants.

Falling back on top of me, he trailed kisses down my neck, sucking gently, while I moaned as lower as possible, knowing that even if the boys had left, someone from the staff could be passing by.

- I already said that, but I'm gonna say it again - he whispered with his lips on my skin - I love you.

I was about to tell him the same, but something interrupted me.

A knock on the door took our attention away from each other, without getting a response, the door that I thought I had locked opened, revealing the only person who definitely shouldn't see me in that situation.

- Hey, Frank, have you seen my- My dad was left speechless, not knowing whether to turn away or continue staring in disbelief.

We froze. Why didn't I lock the goddamn door?! (No, it's much better to face these kinds of things)

I could kill myself in front of them both. Shame took over me, both for my father seeing me in that situation and for putting Frank in it.

So there I was, lying on Frank's bed, half naked, with him on top of me. Frank's hands were positioned on my waist, while his mouth roamed my neck and collarbone. My fingers subtly tangled in the long strands of his hair, while my legs wrapped around his waist.

The scene was not ugly, quite the opposite, but my father looked shocked. I really expected him to leave, but after a few moments I realized he wasn't going to leave the room any time soon.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, before trying to speak.

-I-I'd like to say it's not what it seems… but i can't.

Frank seemed stunned by the situation, he didn't know whether to continue what he was doing or stop.

- Are you two some kind of…?

I opened my mouth to try to explain the whole thing, but before I could say anything, Frank came forward.

- I love them. - He spoke confidently, and I smiled. - I know there are a lot of problems with this, but I can't deny it.

The atmosphere in the room grew heavy as everyone exchanged glances. My father sighed, and clicked his tongue.

- Do you love him back? - he asked with an arched eyebrow.

- Yes! I love him so much!

- Then I have no complaints. - He said, in an obvious tone - You're both adults. Just… wait till I get out of the room to keep doing whatever you both are doing. And lock the door next time,yeah?

- Thanks, dad… - I let out a little smile.

My father nodded, leaving the room and closing the door.

- Good thing your dad likes me.

We laughed and he caught my lips again. I smiled against the kiss, pulling away just enough to speak.

- How could he not? - Fast, my smile disappeared, and I couldn't help but ask the thing I most feared about. - So… when the tour ends… will we, y’know, over?

- No way i’ll let you go, baby.

The soft voice that came out of his mouth gave me more pleasure than his touches at that moment. Knowing that it wasn't the end, knowing that he thought I was worth the risk. I could never have imagined such a perfect cerario

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~ Soooo, that's it! It ended up being much longer than I thought it would be, but I hope that if you had the patience to read this far, you enjoyed it!

let me know if u liked! <3

#my chemical romance #mcr #frank iero x reader #frank iero #frank iero smut

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jennycouldyoucomebackhome · 2 months ago

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Hello and welcome to my essay on why Bulletproof Heart is the most transgender MCR song

First of all, my credentials: -I am trans -I have a Danger Days special interest and this album consumes many of my waking thoughts. (i mean, bulletproof heart url, lmao) -I am obsessed with queer interpretations of songs, especially when I can relate them to my personal experiences

Second of all, a short disclaimer that a lot of this is going to be how I personally interpret the lyrics. If you interpret them differently, I think that's great, and at no point am I claiming to have the sole true interpretation. I'm just having fun.

Next of all, the actual song. Bulletproof Heart on a surface level, is about running away from a suffocating town with someone you trust, and it's about hope and resilience in the face of adversity (and running away from the cops). Just starting with this surface level, you can already start to see why this song could resonate from a trans perspective, but I'm gonna dig further into it.

Gravity don't mean too much to me / I'm who I've got to be. The literal opening to the song and I've already got things to say about it. "I'm who I've got to be" stands out to me. It's not a matter of running away due to wanting to become someone new. It's about running away to start new as the person that you actually are. The line about gravity feels fairly self explanatory. Nothing can hold you down or stop you from running towards this goal, even the laws of physics.

Run away like it was yesterday / And we could run away / If we could run away, run away from here The desire to get out- the desire to run away to somewhere new where nobody knows who you used to be. That's something that resonates with a lot of trans people, myself very much included. The thought of running away to a place where nobody knows your deadname or what you used to look like, or potentially even that you're trans in the first place is something that sounds really appealing, especially to trans kids stuck in an unsupportive place.

I've got a bulletproof heart/You've got a hollow point smile./ Me and your runaway scars got a photograph dream on the getaway mile. I know that in my experience, it was really hard to get close to people as a young, mostly closeted trans person. It's easy to have a lot of walls up when you're afraid of being hurt or ostracized or seen differently than the other people around you. However, sometimes you meet people that break through your walls. They share your dreams of getting out. They've been hurt too, and they get you on a level most people don't.

Let's blow a hole in this town! / And do our talking with the laser beam. / Gunning out of this place in a bullet's embrace / Then we'll do it again. No more putting up with passive-aggressive comments to keep the peace. No more constantly explaining yourself to people who don't actually care. Just you, someone you care for, and the open road in front of you, off to wherever you're starting over. It feels good. It feels freeing. You'd do it a million times over.

(Okay now for the part I've been waiting for. I'm talking about both prechoruses at the same time)

How can they say / "Jenny could you come back home?" / 'Cause everybody knows you don't / Ever wanna come back.

The papers say / "Johnny won't you come back home?" / 'Cause everybody knows you don't / Wanna give yourself up.

Yes. I know this can be read as two separate people, Jenny and Johnny, being told they should come back "home," but they don't want to turn back to a place where they couldn't be themselves You can't "come back" without "[giving] yourself up". However, have you considered that they pack a massive transgender punch if you think about them as one person?

Jenny only having her name used when people are trying to get her to stay- get her back before she's "too far gone," but once they realize they aren't getting her back, the mask slips and the true colors of the people "back home" show themselves once she's already gone and they can't keep her there anymore.

Johnny running away and not even having his name acknowledged as he disappears forever. It's only used in the papers as a last ditch attempt to get him back. It won't work though. It's too late, and he won't turn back. He won't give himself up.

I'm shooting out of this room. / Because I sure don't like the company. / So stop your preaching right there / 'Cause I really don't care / And I'll do it again.

This goes back to the idea of "you don't have to put up with people being stupid and bigoted just so you can keep the peace." If it's not bringing you joy, get out. Tell them to shut up because you're not interested in their justifications for hatred.

Hold your heart into this darkness. / Will it ever be the light to shine you out? / Or fail and leave you stranded. / I ain't gonna be the one left standing. / You ain't gonna be the one left standing. / We ain't gonna be the ones left standing. Showing yourself to the world proudly, walking with certainty towards the unknown. Maybe you're left lost or blinded, but maybe you light the way forward for yourself and others. Even if you aren't the last one standing, you did something and it mattered, no matter how many or how few people it mattered to. Even if nobody knew, it still mattered.

In summary, this could be read as a generally queer song, but to me personally, it resonates more with my trans experiences than anything else. It's a lovely song about being yourself, defying societal expectations, and running away from places that make you feel suffocated in your own skin. And I think that's pretty transgender, and also pretty cool.

#caelum over the waves #finally getting this out of my drafts lmao #if it's a little incoherent that's because this was mostly written in the middle of various nights hope this helps #i love bulletproof heart the transgender song ever to me #long post #my chemical romance #mcr #danger days #bulletproof heart #trans

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thelivingdeaddd · 2 months ago

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What's your biggest piece of advice for baby emos??

get ready for a huge text block

1. music is THE MOST important part of the subculture. there's a lot of debate about what is or is not emo, specifically bands like mcr, ptv, fall out boy, ect are considered "poser" emo and "overrated" but I don't agree. emo or not those bands are extremely influential to the subculture. that being said other bands are also just as in need of recognition! my favorite emo bands are: alesana, silverstein, story of the year, black veil brides, a day to remember, a skylit drive, blessthefall, of mice and men, taking back sunday, and senses fail!!

2. clothes aren't what makes you emo, but it's definitely a huge part of the subculture. back in the 2000s emo kids were said to be "obsessed with how they look." band shirts are a staple, studded belts too (though they can get expensive if you shop at hot topic so I recommend hitting a thrift store or a second hand place like Facebook marketplace, making your own is also always an option!!) skinny jeans, beaten up converse or vans (bonus points if they have song lyrics on them) gloves, zip up jackets, messy eyeliner, other band merch, and spikey bracelets are all staple pieces.

3. DIY!!! emo was dead the second people thought a $25 tshirt from shein made you emo. emo is rooted in shitty sharpie tshirts and stitch work. YouTube is a wonderful place to find diy tutorials if you're just starting out

4. moral standpoints. emo is short for emotional, we're whiney little shits lolol. being open about the fact that you're sad or mentally ill and embracing it is what emo is about, we're a subculture made for losers who feel like they don't belong because we're not mentally sound. we made our own place to belong. lots of emo lyrics are about trauma and how we overcome it and giving hope to teenagers everywhere. because we're a subculture full of misfits, we welcome all types. gays, trans people, poc, poor people, ect. there's absolutely zero room for bigotry.

5. yt channels! a really great way to get involved almost immediately. some of these are modern and some from 16-17 years ago, go check out these channels! baileyheintzelman, TheLosersFromNowhere, AmberKatelynBeale, emoworldtv, The Punk Rock MBA, acidmilk, and KERRANG podcast (they have a lot of good band interviews)

6. what is NOT emo. emo has been watered down so incredibly that anyone can claim to be emo if they put on a little eyeliner and some fishnets. bands like rebzyxxx, 6arelyhuman, odetari, and other "scenecore" artists aren't emo or scene. egirls/boys aren't emo. goths and punks aren't emo. and for the love of god tiktok is not the place to learn everything about us

Jesus what a yap sesh.. (￢_￢)

I hope this helped in some capacity!! and welcome to the subculture<33

#emo #2000s emo #emo blog #coffinposting #emo scene #emo style #emo subculture #baby emo

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cboffshore · 4 months ago

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Hi, I was listening to the skybound playlist you made (honestly helped inspire me to write my own essay), and I was just wondering why you added sleep by MCR, I see the vision, but I would love to hear a, like, lyrical analysis or explanation on it. And maybe another song of your choosing if you wish to share another one too, thanks.

Hello!!! Glad to hear the playlist is still getting some use - it's a good one, but I don't use it myself as often these days. I had a lot of fun making it, though, and I am prepared to YAP. So: under the cut we go!

"Sleep" is on this playlist for a few different reasons that I'll break down in a bit, but the most important one comes from how I built the playlist to begin with. I don't know if you've been listening to this on shuffle or in order, but I designed it to be listened to in order as a rough map of the season (specifically as an emotional map of where Jay, Nya, and Nadakhan are as the big three of Skybound). Because of this, songs tend to fall into blocks for bigger character moments and arcs. "The Last Resort," for instance, is a VERY important episode for all three of them; those events are represented by the run of songs from "S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W" to "Mx. Sinister." (To be fair, you can listen to it in any order as a mood playlist, too! I actually have a few songs I need to find proper places for that are hanging out at the end of the playlist, so don't worry too much about keeping everything straight.)

"Sleep" kicks off a Nadakhan-centric block of songs that runs all the way through "27" (with the exception of "Trade Mistakes," which acts as a brief Jay interlude). This run represents his infamously onscreen origin story and descent into deception and malice.

And that's where the real analytical fun begins!!

In terms of general sound, "Sleep" marks the start of this segment by being by FAR the most grating, desperate, horrifying song on the list. Although "Bleed to Love Her," the song immediately before it, isn't meant as a lyrical fit for the pirate crew, it does work sonically to represent that reunion sequence in the general structure of the playlist. It's melancholy, but hopeful, and a little mysterious in tone; it's a good time. "Sleep" is none of that. It's meant to evoke the shock of Nadakhan arriving to find his home realm collapsing, and the dread palpable onscreen as Djinjago crumbles. We start with that distorted spoken word and piano - calm enough, but something's off - and then the screaming vocals and shrieking guitars kick off as Nadakhan learns the truth about what's happening and the destruction is finalized.

Lyrically, "Sleep" definitely isn't a one hundred percent fit for Nadakhan - but the themes are on point. There's a curious running contrast in the song where the singer directly insists they're not sorry for what they've done (most directly, the lines "and through it all/how could you cry for me?/'cause I don't feel bad about it") but they can't stop dwelling on it (as in the looped spoken word and how often the "no, I don't regret it, so stop asking" sentiment repeats), which ties in nicely with Nadakhan's extremely contradictory characterization. He ran away either because he couldn't live up to the expectations of home, or because he wouldn't - it's never explicitly clear what caused it beyond his selfishness - but then he returned home and seemed genuinely sad about it. Is that because he truly loved his home and didn't realize it til right then, or because it was his backup plan for if piracy didn't work out? I haven't been able to decide, but either way, that colored the rest of the season and the path to revenge he chose to take (blending the useful traditions of home, as in the wedding infinite wish loophole, with whatever he could scrape together that suited his tastes). It doesn't ever seem like he's sorry he left in the first place - after all, he got out with the sword and the knowledge he needed to enact his plan - but we know the loss upsets him throughout the season (particularly in the mutiny scene where he screams at his crew that what they've done as a group "will never be enough," and I assume the rest of that sentence would refer to the destruction of his home if he didn't immediately call his crew ungrateful ingrates.)

Even though this song is meant to represent the moments immediately surrounding the collapse and discovery, it applies to other moments later on, too. (For instance: the aforementioned mutiny scene.) It sort of acts as a preview of how he behaves for everything after this. He becomes secretive, insistent that everything is fine and going to plan, but all the while he's got his own fears and plans waiting in the wings. Once again, I cite the inserted looping audio of Gerard Way speaking about his experience with sleep paralysis while recording this album; that dwelling and repetition feels very Nadakhanish to me, and in fact that audio is one of the most recognizable, influential bits of that song. "Sleep" wouldn't be "Sleep" without it; Nadakhan would not develop into the seasonal villain without that collapse.

If you really want to make this into a preview of the long game, here's another fun fact. I included this song to reference the way that he gets his enemies out of the way... by, well, sending them to sleep. Whether that's by sending them into the sword or just straight up knocking them out (as in how he incapacitates Nya in the finale), Nadakhan never actually kills his opponents. The song ends with a trailing pattern of Gerard screaming "sleep!" over and over again, then followed by a chunk of "wake up!" that's barely discernible - which I think is a nice representation of his snap into actual unbridled regret at the end of the season, when his world once again begins to crumble.

My analysis got a little messy at the end there, but I hope that all makes sense! As you can probably tell, I LOVE explaining this stuff, so if you have any other questions, feel free to shoot me another ask! Thank you so much!

#lila speaks #ninjago skybound #Ninjago Nadakhan #analysis freak lila back on her bullshit

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mochacoffee · 25 days ago

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Do you have a favourite live recording of a song?

SO MANY!!! oh my gosh it is hard to pick. there are some songs where i prefer a specific live recording to the studio version but i think pound for pound the most enjoyment i get is from specific performances i've watched online. i'm gonna give you my top three:

3. bobby darin - mack the knife - 1970

youtube

his performance here is just stellar. every bobby darin recording is uniquely captivating but his command of the music and audience here, and how much fun and bounce he brings to it, make it a masterclass in live swing

2. paramore - all i wanted - bonnaroo 2023

youtube

they never used to perform this one live because it's so vocally demanding but that changed recently! and this one blows the studio recording out of the water. i cannot get over the melisma on "you," the way she opens the vowel to this belt so huge is fills the whole expanse in front of them. incredibly powerful vocalist. she will go down as one of the greats.

1. my chemical romance - destroya - jimmy fallon 2011

youtube

don't ask me why they brought the heat on jimmy fallon live of all places but GOD they did. probably my favorite mcr performance of all time!! (also my favorite pre-split gerard fit but that's beside the point.) they're so in sync here, it's so much noise but it's all toward this unified blast of energy and magnetism that sweeps me up every time. i think jimmy fallon said it best: oh wow

thanks so much for asking!! it was a lovely excuse to rewatch some old favorites. i hope you're having a marvelous day

#lucia talks #mcr #paramore #bobby darin #ask

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meg2md · 4 months ago

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My life, in two pictures:

Exhibit A, trying to get swole but only succeeding when the lighting is on point, and still failing at pull-ups by trying my damndest

Exhibit B, my re-ignited love of Naruto, as well as a new obsession with non-alcoholic beers

That being said, I did drink... way too much last night. I went to trivia and truly would have been okay with 1-2 beers, but then a friend came late and wanted a drink, and my other friend is going through a rough time and wanted to go back to my place and keep drinking... and truthfully at ANY POINT I would have been okay with an NA beer, and I know for next time that I shouldn't give in to peer pressure and keep drinking. I'm confident I wouldn't have kept drinking on my own (which used to be a problem in college and medical school - binge drinking!!) and that I can do better next time. So even though I was hungover today and felt a little bit ashamed, I was able to be there for my friend when she needed it, I still went to my tennis clinic, and I know next time I'll be able to intersperse more NA beers and overall drink less.

And honestly, overall the past few months I have been drinking DRASTICALLY less and it's been very good for my mental, physical, and emotional health. Go me. I'm very proud.

Despite it all I'm actually somewhat on top of things, even though I spent most of the morning sleeping in bc I stayed up until 2 AM with my friend drunkenly singing MCR and Evanescence, and then it took awhile after tennis for my hangover to go away and for me to feel awake enough after extreme physical exertion while slightly hungover to get anything done. But I mayyyyy have this abstract I've been working on ready to submit for SGS if all goes well, and I'm also hoping on to be a middle author on a project with one of my co-residents which will also get submitted to SGS! And I actually have two ORs I can go to next week to film this video idea I have - submissions for the conference I want are due 8/8 so it's pretty tight and stressful but doable. I'm just gonna be SUPER busy next week with video stuff, in the same way i was SUPER busy this week with the lit review/IRB prep for my other project.

I'm gonna go crash into oblivion. It's already been a week of my research block and me not needing to be at the hospital barely at all but I feel like it's gone by so fast since I've been relatively busy working on all the things above. I'm definitely not efficient - a more competent research-oriented resident could probably have done it in a fraction of the time. But hey, I'm at least being academically productive, AND I played tennis, AND I'm going to two concerts this month, AND I've been allotting video game time to the start of every morning I don't have to be at the hospital.

All in all I think it's actually worked out nicely that I didn't rush to get an away rotation together last minute. I have 3 projects to work on at home AND I get to do things I like around the the neighborhood like watch Naruto, play tennis, read, and go to the gym. And I saw a pic of my ex earlier and while I was a little sad and nostalgic, it didn't rip me up like it used to (yes it's been 1.5-2 years w/e I love swiftly and deeply lol), and it just further motivated me to kick ass and be super swole and hot and buff up my CV >:)

I'm gonna be p sad going back to real work when this block is over bc ngl it's p cush

#studyblr #premed #medical school #gradblr #residency #med school #medblr

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gayarograce · 1 year ago

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I Ranked Every* MCR Song (According to My Own Opinion, Of Course)

*Kinda. I excluded live demos and re-releases of songs. Sorry to any diehard Emily or W.T.T.B.P. Steve Aoki Remix fans.

Also, some of these songs could have their places shuffled around slightly and I would probably still agree. It's really hard to form distinct opinions on, by my count, 77 songs.

Also, just because a song is kinda far down, doesn't mean I don't like it. I like the top 45 or so songs, actively dislike the bottom 5-ish, and have no strong opinion on the ones in between.

Finally, actual MCR fans: I'm curious how controversial some of my opinions are. I can see some songs that I think I placed lower than most other people would, but who knows?

The list (from best to worst):

Vampire Money [highest ranked Danger Days song]

House of Wolves [highest ranked Black Parade song]

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

Welcome to the Black Parade

DESTROYA

Famous Last Words

To the End [highest ranked Three Cheers song]

Mama

Dead!

Party Poison

Make Room!!!! [highest ranked Conventional Weapons song]

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison

The Sharpest Lives

Black Dragon Fighting Society

Our Lady of Sorrows [highest ranked Bullets song]

Desolation Row

Teenagers

Planetary (GO!)

This Is How I Disappear

The Foundations of Decay

Kiss the Ring

Boy Division

F.T.W.W.W.

Mastas of Ravenkroft

My Way Home Is Through You

Tomorrow's Money

Burn Bright

The End.

Every Snowflake Is Different (Just Like You)

Look Alive, Sunshine

AMBULANCE

Romance

Sleep

Interlude [The Black Parade Is Dead!]

Heaven Help Us

Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

Kill All Your Friends

Headfirst for Halos

Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us

Bulletproof Heart

Gun.

Under Pressure [w/The Used]

Thank You for the Venom

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

Blood

Hang 'Em High

Surrender the Night

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

Helena

The World Is Ugly

Bury Me in Black

Demolition Lovers

Desert Song

Jet-Star and the Kobra Kid / Traffic Report

It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Deathwish

Cemetery Drive

SING

The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You

The Only Hope for Me Is You

Fake Your Death

Drowning Lessons

Give 'Em Hell, Kid

I Never Told You What I Do for a Living

Skylines and Turnstiles

The Ghost of You

Cubicles

Summertime

Vampires Will Never Hurt You

Cancer

Disenchanted

The Light Behind Your Eyes [lowest ranked Conventional Weapons song]

The Kids from Yesterday

Interlude [Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge] [lowest ranked Three Cheers song]

This Is the Best Day Ever

Goodnite, Dr. Death [lowest ranked Danger Days song]

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville [lowest ranked Bullets song]

I Don't Love You [lowest ranked Black Parade song]

Also, if anyone thinks I forgot one, let me know and I'll think about adding it to the list (or pointing it out if it's already there and you just missed it).

#mcr #long post #text #not aro

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nova-dracomon · 2 years ago

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Hello, big fan of your content, and I hope this isn’t the stupidest question, but I just want to know so I can hopefully know myself; my body better.

How does one figure out whether their body is a system? Is there a sort of process // awakening that sorta happens with therianthropy and the like? Are there any sort of “dead giveaways” that happen that reveal a system instead of a singlet? How to rule out something as an inner voice vs a headmate or something of the sort?

I am eternally confused and potentially misguided, but also would appreciate any clarification. Apologies if I offended or misunderstood any terms, but I just don’t know right now.

It's not a stupid question at all! It's something a lot of us struggle with because it can be difficult to discern. Especially, if like us, in the beginning our host actively worked to suppress everyone else.

We've met ppl who say they've always known, others have one event that just makes everything click into place, and we just kinda slid down a gradual slope to acceptance and actually talking it out. Every system is different and it's impossible to give a one-size-fits-all answer.

So, we'll do the next best thing and talk about how we personally experience plurality. This is by no means gospel or the trueTM way to be a system.

The biggest difference between headmates vs inner monologue vs a character we daydream about is headmates talk back--they're sentient. They have their own thoughts, desires and feelings where a daydream character doesn't and only repeats what our inner voice tells them to--not unlike a remote control toy.

Larka (Host): I experience all my thoughts as words. If I get hungry, in my head I'll 'hear' a thought version of my voice say "I'm hungry" instead of like, envisioning a sandwich. When I first started hearing my headmates, I'd hear another voice alongside my inner voice. It was unprompted, didn't sound like me, and had an "energy" signature attached to it. Everyone here as a unique one that accompanies anything they say--so even if the way their voice sounds fluctuates, we'll know who spoke.

Communication can also be done by sharing emotions. Even if you want something, if someone else doesn't, it can cause conflicting feelings and indecisiveness. Something we've always said about ourselves is that, it doesn't matter how we feel in the moment, because our opinion is so likely to change anyway.

An example of communication: Larka's speeding again. She's feeling good because she loves driving fast and jamming out to MCR. Thorn is annoyed because this happens everyday. Larka's busy thinking about how much she loves Helena. As a stop sign comes into view, there's a sudden shared bolt of discontent laced with anxiety followed by the phrase. "You better do a FULL stop this time." Larka does a full stop.

One particular piece of media that was the biggest turning point for us being "oh shit that might be us" is I am Dog(s). It's a semi-autobiographical narrative that follows a transwoman realizing that she is also plural and a therian. We highly recommend checking it out! If nothing else, it's an easy and fun read.

#nova squawks #3 heads one brain cell

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hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon · 2 years ago

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This is largely for @ryebreadlord

So...something about Jersey does weird things to the people who come from it, and subsequently the music they make, which explains two of my favorite bands being My Chemical Romance and The Gaslight Anthem. due to being raised on the latter and falling head over heels in love with the former at age fourteen, the discographies of these bands exist in conversation in my head. can I rationally explain these conversations? the answer is: sometimes!

Basically, this is why The Spirit of Jazz (Gaslight Anthem) and Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back (MCR) are married in my head.

To begin, there’s a few superficial similarities between the songs:

In the second verses of both songs there are mentions to dark haired lovers and a special relationship between the narrator and their lover:

“ So what now, lover with your long black hair? If I cut you open, baby, I can repair. Bandage your wounds with the salt on my tongue. And I'm the only one around here ” (The Gaslight Anthem)

“ I'm the only friend that makes you cry, You're a heart attack in black hair dye” (My Chemical Romance)

Both songs loosely allude to a vague form of immortality via movies and music, suggesting that the narrator is aware of the story they are telling:

“ The Cool is dead, baby, go on to sleep, Rest your weary head and love a better me, And in the morning we'll start over again, That's how they do it up on the screen “ (The Gaslight Anthem)

“ They say we're never leaving this place alive, But if you sing these words, we'll never die” and “ This ain't about all the friends you made, But the graffiti they write on your grave” (My Chemical Romance)

These are superficial similarities, but they allow me to get the ball rolling and thoughts percolating.

To me, the songs are just similar enough in ideas and concepts mentioned to plausibly create two perspectives of one narrative. Two snapshots of one story, if you will, with the individual context of each song creating a larger narrative. Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back has a narrator who is simultaneously desperate and hopeful, screaming for their lover to get out and save themselves while also saying that as long as they keep hope and beauty in the world, none of them will truly die. The Spirit of Jazz has a narrator who is nostalgic, remembering previous times with a lover and waiting for that lover to return, while still professing their love. To me, these narrators are one and the same, just separated by time. At first, the narrator is young and in a desperate situation, sending their lover away for their safety. Later, they are waiting, wondering if they will ever see that lover again. At no time do they ever doubt their devotion to each other, there is the question of whether they did the right thing.

To compare the choruses:

“ Was I good to you, the wife of my youth? Not another soul could love you like my rotten bones do, So I will wait on the edges in between, These New York streets where you and I would meet” (The Gaslight Anthem)

“ We can leave this world, leave it all behind, We can steal this car if your folks don't mind, We can live forever if you've got the time “ (My Chemical Romance)

These are in conversation with each other. In an earlier time, the narrator and their lover wanted to run away, and claimed they would live forever. Later, the narrator is waiting, perhaps forever, for their lover to come back to them. The Gaslight Anthem song mentions waiting multiple times throughout the song. In the lens I’m using, this can be viewed as the narrator waiting at an arranged safe point after being separated, and wondering if their lover is ever going to meet them there.

Additionally, both songs make references to times when the narrator has saved their lover from pain, both self-inflicted or otherwise:

“Get off the ledge and drop the knife, Not a victim of a victim's life, Because this ain't a room full of suicides, We're believers, I believe tonight” (My Chemical Romance)

“And only I can heal your wounds, Only I can heal your wounds, When you can't go on, when you can't go on, When you can't go on, when you know, hold on” (The Gaslight Anthem)

Finally, one of the more blatant similarities with the narrator describing their lover:

“ But I'm a cannonball to a house on fire, And you're slow like Motown soul” (The Gaslight Anthem”

“ You're the broken glass in the morning light, Be a burning star if it takes all night” (My Chemical Romance)

Both of these songs describe the narrator’s lover as moving slower or ‘taking all night’, which supports the narrative I’m establishing. Of course the narrator is giving their lover time to escape, the lover moves slower and needs time(a whole night) to get away. And of course the narrator, much later, is still waiting for their lover to reappear, they take their time like soul music does. I also love how both lines shown here reference the lover in close proximity to fire and destruction.

Both songs are also oddly hopeful! Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back continuously states that the narrator and their lover are going to live forever, while The Spirit of Jazz remembers the old times with only fondness and repeatedly states that the narrator will wait as long as it takes to see their lover again.

To sum up: To someone who listens to a lot of sad yet oddly hopeful rock music from Jersey, these songs have a lot in common and can form a narrative when put together. Go listen to them, I provided links. Stay tuned for when I compare more songs!

#this may be a series of posts #wahoo #Sebastian speaks #Sebastian loves MCR #the gaslight anthem #I also realized that both the albums these are off of were released in 2010 #that's kinda wild #American Slang #Danger Days #(the next ones I compare are going to be Miles Davis and the Cool and NaNaNa)#in my head these songs are married

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butchviking · 2 years ago

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i challenge you to... all the questions you havent done yet 🔪 (or just the first 10 you havent done if thats too many)

that is a lot for sure but hey, i got the time.

4. mythical creature you think/believe is real?

none of them... thats why theyre mythical... sorry for being boring but i believe in the real world im afraid!

5. favorite form of potato?

dauphinoise!!!!!

9. do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

i uhh. i guess. it's 1-2 steps. i wash my face and then sometimes i moisturise it.

11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

YES my teddy bear joe 🧸 who is currently on his way to a country i just left 😭 im so worried for him i hope he makes it 😭😭 (also an mcr shirt from when i was like 10/11 lol. of course.)

12. brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

i would never trust any brand 100%. however i usually buy simple face wash & moisturiser. im not super brand loyalty abt it or anythin tho i just like that they don't stink of perfume like most do

13. first thing you’re doing in the purge?

HIDING girl wtf 😭 my ass would NOT survive the purge im 5'4 female have no fighting skill at all & don't own a gun. it would b nice to rob some places get some money & cool stuff but there would b other ppl there doing the same thing and if they want to kill me over the last bottle of rum at the asda or something then im totally fucked. im hide and hope everyone is niceys :3

14. do you think you’re dehydrated?

rn? no i don't think so. i had to drink my big bottle of water real quick before i got on this plane.

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

it's good!

17. an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

oh i wouldn't even know. that shit doesn't even register to me anymore. theres so much weird shit i do that dont even notice til someone points it out

19. the veggie you dislike the most?

celery 🤮

20. favorite disney princess movie?

uhhhhhh. when i was a kid i liked cinderella 2? i don't remember any of it anymore though. frozen was ok? mostly i just liked let it go tho. im really not a disney gal lol

21. a number that weirds you out?

this is ironic. 21. i dont like it and i dont like that its a multiple of 7. it shouldn't be. AND a multiple of 3. dont like that.

22. do you have an emotional support water bottle?

nope. could do with getting one of those huge 1.5L blue plastic ones again tho, i had one a few summers ago n i loved it but it broke

23. do you wear jewelry?

currently, yeah! wooden rosary on my wrist and a viking-style metal twist ring. i go thru phases i pick an item or two and refuse to ever ever take them off for like 6 months, n then they break or i lose them or smthn and then i dont wear anything for another few months until i find smthn else.

24. which do you find yourself using, american or british english?

british bc i am british

25. would you say you have good taste in music?

yes. i have the best music taste in the entire world and im right about everything

28. last meal on earth?

either a giant platter of shredded duck (hoisin on the side) or a giant platter of salmon. no other components necessary i'll just shovel that shit down w my bare hands

#ask #leggybein

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motherof-chaos · 1 year ago

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Thank you for the tag @thoseeyeslikefire 🖤 Your list was fun to read, so much nostalgia and also YES MCR CREW 🙌🏻

First

blink-182 in 2004! December 3rd. I still remember the date. I was 13 years old at the time 🥲 I went with three other pals. One who was my childhood best friend who I have recently got back in touch with after not seeing each other for 16 years! 🖤

Last

Slipknot in January 2020. Two months later, the world fell apart due to Covid. It's crazy thinking back! They were FANTASTIC. A band I loved in my youth and FINALLY seeing them live after so many years. It was totally surreal seeing them live but in the best possible way. Behemoth supported them but we missed their entire set cause we were in the pub 🍻

Radar Festival July 28th. I'm going purely for SLEEP TOKEN AHHHHHH and dragging my incredible best friend with me. It's going to be such an amazing day full of music, fun and laughter. I cannot wait to lose my mind with my bestie by my side. I hope Manchester is ready for us ✨💃🏻

Favourite

Gallows in 2008! Fucking mental. The gig that gave me tinnitus 🥲 17 year old me had the time of her life. They tore the place apart. Frank Carter's stage presence is just 🔥 They'd relased a song earlier that week so it wasn't very well known which they played called Gold Dust. I will never forget being at the barrier, singing it with everything I had, arms in the air and Frank Carter noticing and acknowledging it. The line "I guess with friends like these, who the fuck need enemies?". He was singing it at me and I was singing it right back at him, eye contact and everything. Special moment that stands out all these years later! ✨

The song isn't on Spotify, can't even find a none live version of it but what a memory. Here's a live version, super short 1 minute song but the energy is just 🙏🏻

THEY WERE SUCH A GOOD BAND 😭

youtube

Set Your Goals supported them! Up until that point I don't think I'd ever genuinely enjoyed a support act before. Love them to this day.

Tagging

@blessedlyunburdened IF YOU EVER SEE THIS that is 🤣 We need to get Josie on board. @maddsmallow I know you love a tag game. The lovley @leelany-world and my homie @katopian, @advictoriams too. @cerberusdreams babe I'm tagging you too cause I am ✨INTRIGUED✨

As always, no pressure 🖤 have fun!

Shout out to blink-182 who I've seen four times. THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE BAND OKAY 🤣 AND I'm going watching them for a fifth time later this year 🤡 and I cannot fucking wait to see them reunited. They're both mine and my partners favourite band. We saw them together for the first time in 2012 and we'll be seeing them later this year together as parents. It's crazy. They have a special place in my heart 🖤

shoutout to @thelittlest-lynx for the tag! :D 👋🏻

First, Last, Next and Favourite Concerts! (below the cut as I got a bit carried away lmao)

Tagging (as always don't feel obliged!): @motherof-chaos @kyloreno-911 @absentviolet @redradley @hreog-like-frog @tookatrain2nyc @foxgloveinspace @taroris @maidenwychelm @onni-izza @abackwaterprincess and all of my other mutuals <3

First Concert

I have a terrible memory for this long ago but as far as I can remember my first gig was MCR at the O2 Brixton Academy in either 2005 or 2006 with my best friend at the time and a mutual friend (I really can't remember, I just know that both mine and my bestie's mums had to come with us because we were young 🥲). Deep into our emo phases by this point and I remember my bestie having a panic attack and having to sit on some steps by the fire exit for a while). I wish I could remember more of the actual performance but I think more recent trauma has erased a lot of my memories from back then :(

Last Concert

My most recent one was seeing Bad Omens back in March, supported by GHØSTKID and Oxymorrons at The Dome, Tufnell Park. I feel blessed to have been able to see them in such a small venue and for so cheap, considering how big they are now (500 capacity venue, I paid £18 per ticket!) and they were so good!! I think I got the tickets just before they blew up on Tiktok which was lucky. I didn't enjoy GHØSTKID really - I don't know if the sound setup was just awful or what but it just felt like my ears were bleeding. Oxymorrons were actually pretty good, though not what I usually listen to, and I really enjoyed their set. Noah was an absolute beast live although the talking he did between songs sounded super rehearsed like he was reading a script. Dethrone was SO insane live. The crowd were a bit shit - I was about half way back from the front and surrounded by loads of guys just standing and nodding... I kept getting weird looks because I was jumping and singing along... But yeah overall really good.

Next Concert

SLEEP TOKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At Wembley Arena in December. I am so fucking excited I can't even put it into words. This will be my first time EVER seeing them live - still can't actually believe I got tickets. The only thing I wish is that I could have seen them at a smaller venue for my first time but I have a feeling the atmosphere in Wembley Arena is going to be incredible. Fully expecting to cry my eyes out tbh. I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also have tickets to see BMTH & Bad Omens supported by Static Dress and Cassyette at The O2 in January. I've been a fan of BringMe since Count Your Blessings came out in 2006 (I still have the cd somewhere), though I distanced myself from them a bit during their TIAHBMISITIAHLKIAS era. I can't believe it's taken me this long to see them live but it's going to be a hell of a show, plus I get to see Bad Omens and Cassyette (who I saw support MCR in 2022, she was really good!) again at the same time!

Lastly I also have tickets to see the Foo Fighters at London Stadium in 2024 though that's mainly for my partner as they're his favourite band. I like a few of their singles but I'm not a huge fan.

Favourite Concert

I think I have two favourites.

One of my favourites so far is actually when I saw Bullet For My Valentine at Wembley Arena in 2013. They were supported by Asking Alexandria and Young Guns. I actually mainly went to see AA who were my favourite band at the time but I think Danny was already mentally checked out by this point and they were a massive let down live. Young Guns were really good, I was probably slightly more than a causal fan of theirs back then. But Bullet absolutely blew me away. I'd liked a good number of their songs, I wasn't a big fan, but they were absolutely incredible live and I ended up enjoying them way more than AA.

My second favourite was seeing MCR for the first time again after they split at Stadium MK in May 2022. My Chemical Romance will always have a special place in my heart. Other than Sleep Token, MCR have been the only other band that I've had a special connection with. They were my favourite band since I was 14 (until I discovered Sleep Token who have overtaken them for the top spot, sorry MCR) and I never thought I'd be able to see them again. I was a little concerned about whether they would still be good live but oh my GOD they were incredible. I had the best time and that feeling of everyone in the stadium singing along with every song was indescribable (kind of expecting this same feeling when I see sleep token). But yeah so good. Supports were Placebo (who were fucking awful, sorry lol), Barns Courtney (who we missed as we were queueing for merch) and Cassyette who was really good too.

Oh, and a different genre entirely but, I also say Lady Gaga live and she was amazing too haha

#Tag game

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jaggedteeth · 2 years ago

Text

as the u.s. tour comes to a close, i want to take a moment to talk about a phenomenon i’ve seen taking place within mcr internet fan spaces these last few months, my thoughts on it, and how i think it relates back to digital media literacy.

(before we start, i want to make it clear that i’m just some guy and i am definitely not the most qualified person to talk about this, but i think some of the things in this post really, really need to be said. my hope is not necessarily to change your mind or to “get you on my side,” but to encourage you to think critically and independently, even during your daily scroll on social media.)

————

so, what is this ominous phenomenon i’m talking about? i’m referring to some of the comments i’ve seen mcr fans make regarding gerard’s gender—specifically the public, speculative, and seemingly unironic ones that attempt to put a label or a semblance of a label on his gender nonconformity.

(i think now’s a good time to mention you should read this entire post before engaging with or commenting on it. stay with me. we’re in this together.)

here is a post that i think does a good job of explaining this a little more in-depth for anyone who’s out of the loop.

regardless of my personal opinions on all of this, i understand why it’s happening. much of mcr’s fanbase is trans and/or non-binary, and seeking out representation from familiar, comforting figures is not out of the ordinary. i don’t think anyone involved means harm, and this isn’t a callout post. i’m just adding to a discussion i think has been largely one-sided up until recently.

————

what is the point of me making this post? to put it bluntly, i disagree with how much of the discussion around gerard’s gender identity and expression is being conducted.

(again, please stay with me.)

what is it, specifically, that i disagree with? is it the celebration of gerard’s gender nonconformity? is it the possibility they might not identify, partially or wholly, with their gender assigned at birth? is it the joy their gender expression has inspired in many mcr fans?

no. it’s none of those things; not even close. i can’t even put into words how i, a gender nonconforming trans man, felt when gerard wore his cheerleader dress in nashville. it was a special moment and i was so happy to see him happy.

but something that bothers me about the “gender wars” narrative is the idea that anyone who’s not all-in is, if not an outright transphobe, someone with deep-rooted biases they need to work through. i haven’t seen this from everyone, but it’s floated around here and there.

nuance in conversations like this is incredibly important. the human experience is rarely black and white. and i believe the notion that it must be, especially when it comes to topics such as queer identity, largely stems from closed-mindedness and fear, conscious or unconscious.

i have certainly witnessed people online assert that gerard must be cis, and there’s no way he can’t be cis, implying if he ever identified as anything other than cis that would be bad and gross and weird. i strongly disagree with that viewpoint because it’s transphobic and gerard is a real person who none of us know personally who can do whatever the fuck he wants. in the same way, i disagree with the viewpoint that gerard must be trans, and there’s no way he can’t be trans, implying anyone who disagrees is a transphobe who refuses to pay attention. because gerard is a real person who none of us know personally who can do whatever the fuck he wants.

i’m aware gerard has also made comments in the past about his journey with gender identity, the connection he feels to women and femininity, and even his experimentation with drag while he was in college. he’s said he should be referred to with either he/him or they/them pronouns, he’s an earnest supporter of the trans community, and he’s historically rejected the sexist shithead rock-dude stereotype.

i’m not here to downplay any of those things, nor am i trying to invalidate anyone who has taken comfort in or identified with those things. just a couple of points i would like you to think about, though:

some cis people also question their gender identity and/or use multiple sets of pronouns for a multitude of reasons (i’m not saying gerard has to be cis, i’m just giving you an extra viewpoint to chew on);

i’ve personally met plenty of men or male-aligned people who strongly identify with women and femininity. i strongly identify with women and femininity and i’m still 100% a trans man and will throw anyone who tries to tell me otherwise directly into the sun (again, i’m not saying gerard must be a man or male-aligned);

gender nonconformity and transness are complex, nuanced topics. labels can be useful, but they are not a be-all-end-all;

and i’m going to be blunt here—assuming and/or declaring someone is transfem when they haven’t publicly referred to themselves as such, just because they are comfortable discussing their own femininity and sometimes have a feminine presentation and feminine mannerisms, is basically an upgraded form of gender essentialism and completely disregards the existence and experiences of amab cis-passing queer people and gender nonconforming people. i understand it’s a tough pill to swallow, but intent doesn’t always equal impact, and just because someone may not see it that way doesn’t mean that’s not what they’re doing.

even if gerard is transfem, he’s still a real person who has a right to privacy and autonomy, and he never has to publicly label himself if he doesn’t want to. no one is entitled to seek out the details of his identity, but least of all us, a bunch of strangers on the internet who will probably never have a full conversation with him.

not one of us is an “authority” or “expert” on gerard way or my chemical romance. we can learn about the band’s history and public personas or laugh at the funny, quirky parts of their lore or cry when we think about how far they’ve come in the public eye, but what gives us the right to dig into every tiny crevice of gerard’s work and interactions and public existence searching for “clues” as to whether or not he’s trans? what gives us the right to label his gender identity for him—a process that is incredibly personal? i know “parasocial” is basically just another hollow internet buzzword at this point, but let’s not forget the very real consequences that parasocial relationships can certainly have.

do i think it would be fucking awesome if gerard came out as trans tomorrow? absolutely. do i also think it’s fucking awesome that they’re an older gnc person? that so many queer people have discovered and accepted themselves in part because of them? that they now exude joy onstage and bravely dress and act the way they do? one million times yes. and we can celebrate those real, concrete, factual things without tinhatting, overstepping boundaries, or jumping to conclusions. if they were to come out as trans tomorrow, that wouldn’t invalidate any of my arguments or make the behavior i’m critiquing acceptable, because the point isn’t about whether or not gerard is trans, the point is about how some of mcr’s fanbase is treating them.

gerard has uplifted and respected us time and time again without even knowing us as individuals. so i want you to take a moment to sincerely reflect and ask yourself this question: where is our respect for him?

————

alright. i’m glad you’re still here. let’s talk about what can actually be done about this.

i think a lot of this problem boils down to a lack of critical thinking. yes, that’s thrown around a lot as a clapback on this website, but i don’t mean it as an insult. we’re all guilty of not thinking critically, myself included. especially in the age of the internet, it’s impossible to be perfect all the time, when we’re bombarded with information from every angle.

this is why learning about and consistently practicing media literacy is so important. it’s something i’m passionate about because i’ve seen firsthand, time and time again, how it can make or break a person and their worldview, to the point that i spent hours writing about it for my upper-level journalism courses (before i dropped out lol) and worked for two semesters as an editor for a college newspaper.

if these conversations about gerard were happening in private group chats between friends who already know one another, my opinions on the topic itself would still stand, but it wouldn’t be any of my business and i obviously wouldn’t think to write an entire post about it. but everything changes when these discussions are had on a public platform with little regard for nuance.

“misinformation,” or the unintentional spread of false information—not to be confused with disinformation, where the person spreading it knows what they’re saying isn’t true—might not be a totally accurate descriptor for some of what’s going on here, honestly. none of us can prove what gerard is thinking or feeling. but based on what we do know, what he’s publicly and concretely shared with us, i think it’s as close as we can get. a lot of the posts i’ve seen don’t read to me as “hehe funny celebrity headcanon that’s obviously just for fun.” or even “i relate to this person’s art and/or publicized experiences, but i understand i don’t know them and at least some of that is just projection.” rather, they seem to make invasive leaps and use inaccurate vocabulary while simultaneously taking themselves very, very seriously, and that concerns me more than if a random tumblr user was just trolling to start fandom drama or something.

to put things into perspective, this is why every single one of my journalism professors drilled it into my head that you have to get your news from multiple sources. those sources must have differing perspectives and you need to look at every single one with a critical eye, no matter how trustworthy they may seem (listen, i get it’s way more complicated than that and i could go off on a whole other tangent about the glaring problems with mainstream news media in the united states and not in a cringefail right-wing way, but this is an mcr blog, so let’s just focus on the basic principle here).

obviously, i don’t think anyone should engage with transphobes unless it’s for the sake of making stronger counter-arguments, because their beliefs are provably harmful and false. but someone making good-faith criticisms of speculating about a stranger who has not publicly come out as trans and/or non-binary is markedly different. i’m not the only person who’s written something like this, and i encourage everyone to seek out similar posts and think about the points they’re making, even if you don’t agree with every single one of them.

this speculative commentary on gerard’s identity has spread like wildfire and created a polarizing echo chamber, from what i’ve seen. i understand why. but it’s still deeply worrying to me. seeing as this is primarily happening on tumblr, i’m concerned less because i think gerard will ever see or care about these posts (that’s obviously still important, though), and more because of what this says about how people in mcr fanspaces view celebrities they feel strongly about and engage with information they see online at large.

please do research on digital media literacy, and please use reputable sources with authority on journalism and communications to do so. don’t take what you see on social media at face value. don’t trust any one social media user to feed you commentary or shape your viewpoints, and that includes me. read with a critical eye. think about the possible implications and intentions behind the words other people use, big or small, and why those might be there. be aware of your own biases and blindspots. remember that you’ll never be perfect, not even close. and while you’re at it, learn more about the experiences of gnc people, and the experiences of queer people of all different ages, backgrounds, cultures, races, identities, perspectives, lived experiences, etcetera. if you can, engage in diverse irl lgbtq+ spaces. they put things into perspective in a way the internet never will.

but i still use tumblr in 2022, so what do i know?

————

if there’s anything you think i overlooked or misconstrued in this post, tell me! i want this to be a living, breathing conversation, not a monologue. these are important issues and they deserve our time and attention. thank you so much for reading.

#terfs and truscum don't fucking touch this post btw you're not welcome in this conversation or anywhere near my blog #tumblr like fucked up the spacing between words for some reason but man idc anymore i've already been working on this for way too long #mcr #my chemical romance #gerard way

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